In my twenties I spent as much time learning, traveling and exploring as I possibly could! I traveled far and wide and had many adventures including college in Michigan, studying languages at Uni in Austria, living in Arizona, Maine, Colorado, California, Hawaii and Germany. I hiked long distance trails like the Appalachian, Anna Purna Circuit Nepal and Colorado Trail. I taught skiing. I lived for 6 months on a remote beach. I spent a winter in a log cabin where my best transportation was by using snowshoes. I kayaked the coast of Queensland, motorcycled to the North Cape of Norway and sailed the North Sea in a yacht. I schlepped a backpack on trains around Europe, spent some time diving in Thailand and windsurfed on the Chiemsee in Bavaria It was never boring! I'm sure I have some stories to tell one day long in the future when I have some time to reflect on those years.
When I turned 30, I met my husband again--6 years after we had originally met hiking the Appalachian Trail. I realized fairly quick that I wanted to settle down with him, luckily he was fairly keen! It was hard for me in some ways as I had been so used to being on the move that I wasn't sure if I couldn't stop and be in one place! I think there were those who believed that I would never settle down! So my thirties became all about settling down (under--haha) and putting down roots. I even lived with my parents for two years in preparation (paperwork) for moving to Australia! Sort of the last hoorah of the life I had growing up in Michigan. My husband and I built our home--the first part before we got married, the addition after we had our first child Alexander and while pregnant with Oliver! I moved to Australia, we got married, we had our two boys and I started my long arm business all in my thirties. I slowed down in some ways, yet life was more hectic than ever! And now, what next?
The forties!!! I have been really thinking about what it is that I want to achieve in these years... Without a doubt my boys (all 3) are my priority. Being with them and enjoying our lives together is my main focus. I want to teach my kids as much as I can, read to them, play with them, hug them and basically enjoy every bit of who they are. Within that I do want to focus on making the most out of my life. I have decided that first up is getting myself back to a fitness level that I can be happy with. After having the two kids, I can say that for me there is a long way to go to get to where I want to be with that. I started fitness training back in early May and I must say, that it truly is paying off. It is however taking extra time and energy but adding oh so much more vitality to my daily existence! It's a long road that I'm taking one step at a time.
Which, brings me to why I posted these Bee blocks with this post. The reason why I am posting these blocks is that I had them sitting up on my design wall for the last month and a half. Not these ones specifically either. I made a set and was unhappy with their lack of vitality. I couldn't seem to get beyond drab. I couldn't pull out a "formula" either. That is what I have been thinking about since I turned 40. That there isn't a specific "formula"-- a place, a thing that defines who I am and what I am about. My style, my tastes, do not seem to be anything specific. I cannot say what it is that is really me. This is so reflective of my quilting style. One day I can be happily working in Civil War prints and the next day I'm diving into a bin of texty Japanese scraps. The minute I say that I don't like something, I know that the next day it will be the very thing I am obsessed with. I want to know though, what is really me? What is my voice? What is my style? I know we are always evolving, but there must be something that I basically identify with. My style might be right there in front of my face and I can't see it??? What has me perplexed is that I made blocks a month ago and could not pick out anything vibrant for the life of me. Then today I was all about the vibrancy. Uggh!!! Who am I? I am grown up enough now to have a voice of my own. So that is what I am setting out to find. That is my goal. I will find my voice---no more translating (my language studies), no more fitting into the environment (life as a traveler). Maybe I will not ever have a "formula", but I want to get closer to knowing who I am. Of course, the quilty part is one aspect of it--a metaphor to the rest of my life as well. Hmmmm.... Let's see what happens:0