Monday, March 3, 2008

Expect the Unexpected


I went to the doctor today and he is quite sure that I have trigeminal neuralgia. I go to Canberra this week to do a MRI to see if it might be a tumor or MS, so I'll just have to wait and see. It's a bit hard to get my head around this and how I am to deal with the pain longterm. We've been trying to get pregnant, so I had to reject going on a course of meds that will deal with the pain. Normal pain killers don't work for this so I'll just have to keep on living with the pain. They call it the suicide disease as many people do give up when they don't get diagnosed or find a way to deal with the ongoing pain. Funny that I did feel like throwing myself off the balcony last week. But, no, really, I wouldn't. In times like this I always remember when I used to live in Innsbruck, there was a wall next to the river Inn that someone had spray painted, "I'll Never Give Up" on. I used to walk by it nearly every day and when the river got high in the spring it nearly always covered most of the writing so that you could just barely figure out the words. It reminded me of someone drowning, hanging on and determined to survive. I am convinced that is the only way to live life.

15 comments:

La Manosa said...

I'm sorry to hear that you've been experiencing so much pain recently. I hope that, whatever the diagnosis, the doctors will be able to offer you some help and relieve the pain as much as possible.

Idaho Quilter said...

I will keep you in my prayers, I have been reading your blog for some time now, rarely comment. With modern meddicine hopefully they can give you some relief. I always fall back on quilting in hard times, it never fails to make me feel better. You are very talented in yours.

mamaspark said...

I will put you on the prayer list. I hope the end diagnosis is the least of the potential issues (whichever that one is). You have a great attitude. Keep the faith!!

Sew Create It - Jane said...

We're all hear ready to listen when you things get you down. That's what cyber friends do!!
Pain is one of those awful things that be so crippling. I hope that the test result come back soon so you can move forward with the treatment what ever that may be.

Keeping you in my thoughts and sending you cyber (((hugs)))

Chookyblue...... said...

take care and hope things go well

chook said...

Thinking of you
hugs Beth

Jo said...

Ok - deep breathe and focus. Whenever things get tough always remember the little things, as they are the things that make us most happiest. You will get through this no matter what the outcome. My situation is very similar to your's at the moment and sometimes when things get to much I need to stop and regather my thoughts. I wish you all the best for the future.

Kieny said...

That is a great image those words on that wall. Keep focus. I wish you lots of strenght!

Jacquie said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I get so much enjoyment from peeking at your quilts..hope to pass some of those good feelings back your way!

Anonymous said...

I often lurk around your blog & enjoy looking at your projects. A person like you who sews so beautifully, cans cherries, grows veggies and so much more is sure to get through this set back. I hate to think of you in pain but from the little I know about you, I feel sure you have the strength to deal with it. Best wishes you are in my thoughts. Julie

Kris said...

Thank you so much for sharing your "graffiti" story. I prefer to think of something like that as "street art" because it really affects you, doesn't it? Makes me want to scrawl on my walls!

Hope you are well and that your tests turn out well. Let us know how you get on. Love your blog!

blueberrylane said...

What a frustrating and painful time you are having, hope all is well soon for you.
Carey

meg said...

I am sorry to hear that you have been so unwell and feeling so much pain lately. I hope answers and relief are on the way for you soon. I also wanted to thank you, I only found your blog a couple of months ago and you have been so inspiring to me that I have started to piece a quilt for the first time in my life, it is great to have creative out let again and a challenge. Thank you for sharing and please let us know how you are doing xx.

Faith said...

I hope you will be able to get sorted with the pain... and that the doctors will be able to find a solution for you.... Keep positive
faithx

The Carolina Quilter said...

Prayers your way--hope they can help you manage the pain and that you can have a baby.

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