Aaawhh! That feels better. I figured out yesterday why I was struggling so much with this quilt. I didn't like the proportion of it, it was too wide and short. So, I unpicked two rows from the ends and added two more rows. Now it is narrow and long the way I wanted it to be! If you look closely you'll realize that two whole rows are full of mistakes because of this rearrangement, but I don't mind at all compared with the way it was. I also think the border has helped me feel better about it.
So, my next project is to unpick a border off of a quilt top I made last year. I put the border on not knowing that you are supposed to measure through the center of the quilt and so the border is a bit wavy. I need to correct that or it will bother me too much.